Monday, October 10, 2011

Agatha Christie: Poisoned Milk or Buttermilk Substitute?

"I thought you'd come, perhaps because you were a mother--one of those whose children I'd killed. I hoped you'd come back another time, and then we'd have a glass of milk together. It was usually milk. Sometimes cocoa. Anyone who knew about me....Turning suddenly, she came towards (her), holding a glass of milk and smiling persuasively. 'Drink it up, she said. 'Just drink it up." (pg. 247) Agatha Christie.

Agatha sure like her poisons, doesn't she? Her stories are also so clever, so intricate, so good at tapping into emotional parts of our heads and making red herrings seem probable the way nobody else can, that it becomes near impossible to guess who the murderer is. So to avoid spoiling anyone, I've neglected to state the book's title in the above quote. You can click on Agatha Christie's name above if you wish to know the title. I've also removed the name of the (probable)poisoner and the (possible)poison-ee. 

Of course, who are we to judge a nice old/young/middle-aged/unicorn/flying fish if she/he seemingly wants to poison Name Removed? It's none of our business, really.

Perhaps the whole thing was blown completely out of proportion. Perhaps Name Also Removed was just asking Name Removed if she was thirsty. 

Wow... Name Removed must feel really stupid right now. Especially when you look at plot point, plot point, red herring, plot point, tree. Isn't it all much clearer now?

I thought so.

Of course, if it turns out the milk really was poisoned, then Name Removed might want to consider washing it down with wedding cake. I hear it's quite delicious, even with the arsenic aftertaste.

Here's a quick and easy substitute for buttermilk used in baking. I promise nobody will ever find you out...except Miss Marple perhaps, if you let her in while you are cooking.

Never do that. She's surprisingly nosey.

While this recipe probably won't kill you even if you did- don't drink this plain. Seriously. It's for baking with, not consuming. That's why it's known as sour milk.

And who wouldn't try to off themselves after drinking sour milk? 

Hmm...maybe the milk wasn't really poisoned after all.

Buttermilk Substitute(Sour Milk)-


One tablespoon Vinegar
Cup o' Milk

Combine one tablespoon vinegar and one cup of milk. Let sit for five minutes. Swap for same amount of buttermilk as stated in recipe.

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