Tiny Sandwiches

When I think of tea parties, I think of tiny sandwiches that make you increasingly hungrier. Specifically, I think of sandwiches piled high with one of those vegetables that burn more calories than they put into your body and make you feel better about eating a pound of mini-gingerbread cupcakes… and butter.

I’m a guest at Liza’s house at the moment. To celebrate the most recent episode of Downton Abbey, we combined culinary forces and turned Liza’s Victorian parlor into a historically inaccurate Edwardian tea party that the Dowager Countess of Grantham surely would have frowned upon. The first thing on the menu, naturally, was the tiny cucumber sandwich.

The tiny cucumber sandwich is the quintessential teatime sandwich. It’s just enough sandwich to wash down your Earl Grey and hold you over until dinner time. There are many possibilities for variation – herbed butter, cheeses, mint, ciabatta rolls. There’s nothing British about ciabatta rolls, but sometimes one must accept the limitations of one’s pantry. Don’t fret, we will tell you how to make them properly.

Tiny Cucumber Sandwiches

(Adapted from the Coffee/Tea section of About.com)

¼ - ½ cup white wine vinegar

An English cucumber cut into thin slices

1 loaf of soft white bread sliced thinly

2 tablespoons softened butter

¼ teaspoon dried rosemary

Salt and pepper to taste

1. Let the butter reach room temperature in warm place a few hours before making the sandwich.

2. Pour the white wine vinegar over a bowl of cucumber slices. Let the cucumbers soak for a half hour.

3. Chop your dried rosemary into little bits and prepare for it to pop into your face. Mix the little rosemary bits into your softened butter.

4. Remove the vinegar from the bowl of cucumbers and wipe up the excess liquid on the slices with a paper towel.

5. Spread the rosemary butter onto each slice of bread and layer the cucumbers on top of the butter on half of the slices. Add salt and pepper, if you like. Put the remaining slices on top.

6. Slice off the crusts and cut the sandwiches into smaller pieces. You might cut them into triangles, squares or long rectangles. Enjoy with a haughty air.

The Perfect Drinking Game - Downton Abbey

"I'm a woman, Mary. I can be as contrary as I choose." Lady Grantham

And so we drank.

Herbal tea, that is. Sunday night was the third episode of the second season of Downton Abbey aired, and as Brittany and I were in the same room on this joyous occasion it only seemed right that we have a viewing party. But what would be the theme?

'Of course!' Thought Brittany, 'An Edwardian tea. With tiny cupcakes and sandwiches. Where's the butter? Do you have any margarine?'

'Of course!' Said I, 'The tea is the thing! A lovely Victorian tea party.'

'Edwardian.'

'Gesundheit.'

While scouring the internet for the perfect recipes to use, we came across other articles about parties hosted by other Downton lovers. One thing caught our eye- a drinking game. The rules were simple. When Lady Grantham, played by the incredibly talented Maggie Smith, said a witty one-liner, everybody took a drink.

This amused us, but we had no wish to die of alcohol poisoning, as those who laughingly thought up the game before must have done. Let us now bow our heads in silence for their departure from this world...

It was decided that the cakes should be vegan and the frosting too. The sandwiches were decidedly not, as they were made with butter and a bit of brie. I refer you to Lady Grantham on this one.

We scuttled about, creating our sandwiches and making our cakes. Then we positioned ourselves in front of the television, and raised our mugs.

***

I shall now give you, dear reader, a play-by-play of the events that took place.

"He's going to die! No, sorry, I meant his mother. Definitely his mother."
"Dead. Dead...sooo dead."
"I knew that was going to happen. It was just like Gilmore Girls when Lorelai sings karaoke and Luke walks in."